it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
