I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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