Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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