would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
