He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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