The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
