they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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