it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
