I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
