i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
