He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
