the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
