I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
