the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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