Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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