He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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