You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
