she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
