Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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