he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
