I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
