and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
