i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
