I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
