Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
