I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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