If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
