I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
