guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
