real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
