he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
