I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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