No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
