Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
