don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
