Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
