You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
