I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
