he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
