this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
