I'm eating all of the evidence.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
