hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Why is there bacon in the couch?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
