The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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