this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
