walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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