Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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