Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
