I am puke
I looked at my own cervix.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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