"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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