Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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