You made me cry and you don't even care
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
