I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
