Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize