honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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