Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
