shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I stole a fireplace last night.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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