I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
