Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
