I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize