I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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