Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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