So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
