That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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