i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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