What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
