I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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